Interview With Lauren McAfee
Lauren McAfee and her husband, Michael, know firsthand what it’s like to face back-to-back tragedies and unforeseen trauma. How can we handle the anxiety and grief that results from life spinning out of control? Jesus’ teachings and life offer helpful examples, which Lauren and Michael write about in their book Beyond Our Control: Let Go of Unmet Expectations, Overcome Anxiety, and Discover Intimacy With God. Lauren, an author, founder of Stand for Life, and Ministry Director at Hobby Lobby, joins the Know Why Podcast to share their story.
Control and Anxiety
Rates of anxiety are increasing in our society. Lauren believes part of that is due to the growing illusion of control we have over our lives, from being able to buy what we want and have it delivered within days or even hours, to being able to contact people across the world within seconds.
Lauren McAfee
“We’re not having to control all things, we’re not having to fix everything. That’s not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to trust in God.”
“All of these things that make us have this facade that we have so much control over our lives are actually making us more anxious,” she told Know Why. “Deep down we know we actually don’t have as much control as we wish we had over the things that really matter in life.”
According to Dr. John Townsend, author, psychologist, and friend of Lauren, “the negative emotion most closely associated with the lack of control is anxiety,” she told Know Why.
How do we survive the anxiety and even grief that comes when our tragic things happen beyond our control?
Let Go and Lament
Lauren and Michael have had to find the answer to this due to events in their own marriage and parenting journey, from obstacles having children, to facing a child’s cancer diagnosis, and heartbreak amidst adoption. They found peace and direction in the words and examples of Jesus.
“Go to the Lord, and the practice of drawing near to Him allows us to more fully feel his presence, and his presence is what fully brings peace,” Lauren said. She said that Jesus’ promise that his “burden is light” is true, even if it sounds impossible. “Even in the midst of hard things we can have a lighter burden because we’re not carrying it on our own.”
Lauren Mcafee
“We have to create the space for lament.”
Leaning on Jesus doesn’t mean always feeling positive, however. In fact, Lauren says that Jesus set an example of lament, and that lamenting is an important part of anyone’s healing journey.
“God created us with emotions,” she told Know Why. “We honor the Lord whenever we acknowledge however we are feeling about things.”
More Resources
- Beyond Our Control: Let Go of Unmet Expectations, Overcome Anxiety, and Discover Intimacy With God by Lauren and Michael McAfee
- Diane Langberg, Ph.D., Psychologist and international speaker working with trauma survivors, caregivers and clergy around the world
- The Cost of Control: Why We Crave it, the Anxiety it Gives Us, and the Real Power God Promises by Sharon Hodde Miller
- No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece